65% New Yorker. 100% Texan. Likes: baking, puppies, beauty products, great meals, and the color yellow. Dislikes: poor grammar, Nutella, name-droppers, mushrooms, canned corn, and one-uppers. And yes, I use the Oxford comma. If you'd like to inquire, try lizlemon.tumblr.com/ask or lizlemonnn at gmail dot com. Sorry, but you cannot have my username.
An Alternate Career - or - Urban Rebounding Review!
Backstory: As you might have noticed, I’ve been on something of a “workout kick” lately (I’d link but TUMBLR - FIX YOUR SEARCH FUNCTION). And by “workout kick,” I mean, “holy shit, I’m climbing Mount Rainier in less than two months, I’d better starting doing something other than leisurely walking places.” I digress. Anyhow, to this end, I’ve been giving classes at my fancy local gym a shot. After Body Pump and (accidental) Body Combat (again, my apologies for the lack of linking, blame tumblr), I was dying to try Urban Rebounding… trampoline cardio! What’s not to love?? Anyhow, I tried to go to Urban Rebounding FIVE times before the class actually happened, for various uninteresting reasons. So here goes the tale of the class, as relived in an IM conversation with Julia….
Julia: i mean, look at the urban rebounding website!
J: that is MASCULINE
me: to be fair, I was DRIPPING SWEAT
J: so do you just like jump on the trampoline while holding weights?
J: i don’t really get it
me: first you just jump
me: which gets the heartrate going
me: in different like, routine thingies
J: do you have to like kick your legs out or anything while you jump?
me: it’s hard to get at first
me: and FAST
me: those bitches can like, jump side to side before I’m even on one side
me: and you jump and kick
me: forward backwards
me: then you use hand weights
me: thank god someone told me to grab like 2 lb-ers or else I would’ve been like, I can do five!
me: yeah, no, I can’t do five
me: you jump in your little learned routine
me: (side to side, kicking out, etc.) and coordinate your hands with weights
me: the entire time I was thinking how embarrassing it would be WHEN I fell on my ass
me: oh, and in between, as a cool down (to get your heart back into your chest instead of beating three feet in front of you)
me: you do like, yoga on the side of the trampoline
me: feet on floor, hands on trampoline, plank
J: holy fucking shit
J: imminent death
me: but at least your heart stops beating in your toes
me: then you do more weights
me: then you use a weighted bar as a stabilizing pole
me: and do stuff
me: then you use the bar on your shoulders while you do one-footed squats on the trampoline
me: looking back.. I’m a little surprised I didn’t die. So! Wanna come? :)
J: i would have to wear a padded suit
J: but also, kind of?
J: more just because i’m curious :)
me: that’s why I went
me: I was like, it’s on a trampoline! How hard can it be??
me: turns out the correct answer is: VERY
me: also, if [redacted company of employment] doesn’t work out, I think I have career potential as “very graphic exercise class describer”
J: you could like write for self or something